Dancing Butterflies

Have you ever felt like you were just given a crumpled scrap of paper with the words “Flagpole.  3 o’clock. I am going to beat you up.” written on it?  The same feeling you might have if you have ever sat on one of those plastic chairs outside the principal’s office, or upon arriving back home…late….and the light is still on in your parents bedroom.  I swore that feeling off when I became an adult.  Unfortunately that feeling follows me around.  Maybe I say something to someone who has it coming.  Or I confront the dork that just drove like a maniac down my neighborhood street full of little kids riding bikes.  Either way, whatever the reason, the feeling remains the same.  Butterflies.

Have you ever met someone who makes you question your sanity?  They act like the world that they are in is the normal one.  You are the crazy one.  And you ask yourself over and over again, “Is it me?”  I had a friend in high school who had the Twilight Zone music playing almost constantly in my head.  I swore that music off when I became an adult.  Unfortunately that music seems to follow me around.  There are crazy people everywhere.  Or I am crazy so it just seems like they are everywhere, when in reality it is just me.  Naaaaah.

I have always thought that I could regulate the weirdness somehow.  I could decide who I would come in contact with and limit the crazy exposure.  At the same time I could avoid conflict.  Without conflict there are no butterflies.  Heart rate is slower.  Blood pressure is low.  A definite win win.  But, of course, life is not quiet all of the time.  It doesn’t make sense all of the time.  And we feel crazy some of the time….crazy with a chance of butterflies.

Like every other piece of weirdness that has been put on my life plate, this too shall pass, and be replaced with something else.  The way I handle these situations can change though.  I can learn to let the butterflies flit out the window and find a patch of sunflowers somewhere.  I can play a different theme song in my head.  Something with a little more…soul.  I can breathe in peace.  I can smile and I can see them….



~ by pandmcox on December 30, 2009.

16 Responses to “Dancing Butterflies”

  1. Okay, this was a really weird post. I have no idea what you are talking about…….


    I wish it were weird….and I didn’t have the foggiest idea what you were talking about…..

  2. what an elequent way to put it. i’ve always thought of it as ANXIETY but butterflies has such a nicer sound to it. i think i’ll try to look at it this new way and see if that cuts down on the anxiety ummmm i mean butterflies:)

  3. What an interesting way to look at anxiety. I also like the idea of butterflies instead of anxiety.

  4. Darn. I already had butterflies before I read this- now they are *huge*. How am I suppose to sleep tonight, I ask you? Huh? Anyone have a net?

  5. I just love your posts! But I must say I guess I like those butterfly feelings, because I attract confrontation all the time. I can’t help but speak up and tell people how crazy they are acting. LOL. Have a great New Year!

  6. Yeah. There’s another way to live? Are there actually people out there, lives out there, without butterflies and weirdness? Because I should be told if there are, just for the sake of knowing it. Reality is a dynamic thing, really – or it should be, even though it often isn’t treated that way, which is a by-product of the fact that while we live in the world, we actually live in our own heads and only venture out once in a while, which would be nice, except for the butterflies all over the place.

    • i happen to know that there are people out there without butterflies and weirdness. i am not even joking either. they are the people who are truly right 100% of the time. they do not doubt it or question it. it just is and they just are. period. no need for butterflies and the weirdness does not effect them in that world of perfection.

  7. I wish I had your ability to write about something without fully disclosing it. There are so many things I want to write about, but can’t. Such as a certain addiction to the History channel. ’nuff said.

  8. i like to be a woman of mystery…;)

  9. Misty–I love this post. I believe there are some people out there, for whatever reason, that thrive to create that feeling in others–it builds them up, quiets their own butterflies, perhaps. I am learning to recognize that when I start feeling like I’m weighing and measuring everything I say, listening ultra-carefully to the every nuance of every word to make sure I don’t screw up my reply and sound like an imbecile–I adopt my super-superior-silent-one attitude. You know, the “I’m-too-sexy-and-smart-to-speak-to-you-right-at-the-moment-but-I’ll-consider-your-words-and-get-back-to-you. Maybe. If you’re lucky.”

    • mmmm…i too have used the super-superior-silent-one-attitude…but it leaves me feeling….’icky’. i do it anyway. so many issues so little time!

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