Getting Wet

My oldest is turning 15 soon.  I am scared to death.  I broke down and bawled  yesterday right out of the blue.  He thought it was funny.  I thought I was going to have a heart attack.  All of the sudden I realized that my son’s childhood is almost over.  He has 3 years left.  This is it.  For the rest of his life he will be an adult and will talk and complain and joke about his childhood, and his childhood isn’t this vague “I wonder how his childhood will be.”,  I know exactly what it will be.  I have witnessed it.  Almost.  There are 3 years left to watch…if he makes it through.

I have decided that the first and last 3 years of childhood are the most dangerous.  The first three are tricky because you have to get that newborn through things like RSV season and the toddler through things like gas stoves they have figured out how to turn on.  The last three you have to get them through things like operating a machine that could propel them over land at speeds of up to 175 miles an hour….or worse…crap, I can’t think of anything worse than that.  Heart attack…I feel it coming on again.

I was going to reminisce about toddler-hood here and post pictures of our current toddler getting into trouble but I am finding it difficult to do anything but break out into a cold sweat.  Someone is going to die, I am certain of it.  What is the dang number to the law making people in this state?  16 years old is NOT OLD ENOUGH TO DRIVE.  Children do not know the real consequences to things.  I didn’t really start getting consequence until I turned 30.  Okay, I exaggerate…but, SIXTEEN????  Who made that up???

Breathe.  I just need to breathe.  Let’s go ahead and talk about little men and big disasters.  Today it was spaghetti noodles.  One whole package of organic wheat spaghetti noodles on the floor if you please.  Those thinks break up into tiny little pieces quite easily, did you know that?  They also make great swords…if you have plenty of back-up.  We also played in the mud today.  My baby knows that if he gets just one cute foot into that water then he is home free.  Once wet, what is the point of trying to stay dry?

Oh, I wish I could remember them all.  I really do.  I would write them all down and when my kid’s kids were old enough I would sit them down and list them all out and they would laugh.  I would tell them all about the broken glass ornaments and plates and glasses and how we learned very quickly that tile is harder than laminate.  I would tell them about my favorite bowl of dried roses (the roses that my sweetheart had given me over the years) and how pretty they can be when carefully thrown all over the bathroom.  I would let them know how hard it is to clean up laundry detergent and wheat from behind the washer and dryer.  There are baby powder and Fruity Pebble stories.  And of course poop and bugger ones too.  They will laugh and laugh.  My kids will be mad at me…but that is what they get for being such darling toddlers.  Little people with big ideas.  Those babies don’t know about things like broken bones and stitches and DEATH.

Which brings us back to me.  Freaking out.  I am standing on the brink of another life.  A life where my children are not just mine anymore.  They will be someone else’s boyfriend or mission companion or spouse…or Dad.  Yes, I know….slow down, one step at time.

Maybe if I just get my foot in the water…and get it wet….then what would be the point of trying to stay dry?

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~ by pandmcox on December 8, 2009.

13 Responses to “Getting Wet”

  1. My oldest keeps informing me that she is not a kid anymore, she is a preteen. I’m not sure I’m ready for this. I hope by the time she actually is a preteen/teen I’ll have prepared my self a little.

  2. Oh my gosh Misty! You couldn’t have stated it more plainer. I’m with you! I’m hyperventilating right along with you. Three years and Brennan is gone on a mission for TWO WHOLE STINKIN’ YEARS! Who thought up this mission thing? HUH? Blessings pffft. What about my heart?

    And driving? Oh yeah baby! He’s there. Why the heck do they have to grow up?

    I don’t want to get even my big toe wet okay? Dry. Stayin’ dry in denial. It’s a happy place.

  3. Yeah, why????? And…and….WHOOOOO?????

  4. Misty, I love your blog! I haven’t been able to comment in the past either.
    Our kids getting older is scary for me as well. I try not to think about it.
    Jennie

  5. Well at least your almost-15-year-old will be able to see over the steering wheel when he starts driving.

    I can happily report that my boys did survive their last three years. And that’s saying a lot – for most of them.

    I’d like to tell you the mission thing isn’t as hard as you think it will be. But it is. Heck, I’m crying now just thinking about it and they are all home. The marriage part is a LOT easier than the mission. I think the mission could very well be the hardest thing a mother does. I was like Rachel, agonizing about it years in advance. Not sure THAT was helpful.

    BUT – 15 to 19? That’s the BEST part! It is so much fun raising teenage boys.

  6. jennie! so good to see you! i am so glad i moved my blog…i like wordpress…yay! do you have a blog jennie?

    kathy – woman! i wish i were more relaxed about the 15-19 part…i am not worried at all about the mission thing…but i will be the one who freaks out the most i am sure…of course i didn’t worry about the driving thing until taylor starts asking me when i am going to teach him…”so, mom, you ready to take me out and let me drive you around….” ” so, mom, you ready to place our lives in my hands????”

  7. Misty-
    Love your blog. You have a great way of saying things that makes the rest of us think.
    After Andrew started driving and I had several panic attacks, I stated to Steve that he is the designated driver-with-teens-learning-to-drive. My nerves can’t take it. Mostly because I don’t have control, and also because I don’t want them to grow up! Now that Andrew is on the other side of his teen years, I actually like him again and have hope for the other boys. Hang in there, go with the flow, keep him busy in good things and soon you will see the fruit of your labors with him.

  8. thank you very much rebecca. how old is andrew now? i really like that boy. oh, emma wrote a journal while she was in idaho last summer…it was very detailed…it was HILARIOUS. she kept saying that her favorites were you and stephen. i loved it. you are so cool and i appreciate that…i was not excited to have them at a reunion alone…but you just being you did a lot for my kids. so, thank you. i will just hang on and hope for the best with all these kids. 🙂 off to work on that calendar…i think i will send that today. i wish i could send one to everyone on the family!

  9. Sorry, Misty, but I don’t have a blog. It’s just one more thing that I don’t have time for. Besides, it wouldn’t be nearly as fun to read as yours.

  10. Oh…I’m going to cry…why do I wish they would learn to tie their shoes faster and quit spilling food on the floor…at least they’re at home with me and still putting me at the center of their world…it’s easier to know they are safe here with me then when they are at the mercy of the rest of the world!

  11. Okay, dude-ette. Sit down. RIGHT NOW. Did you feel that little slap? Settle you down, did it? Want another one? For heaven’s sake. Here are the things that sprang to mind as I read this:

    1. Out of all four kids, I remember only about three nights when I kept going out to stand on the front deck, staring down the street toward Williams, willing a late kid (curfew) to come around that corner NOW. Three nights out of hundreds and hundreds. Of course, I have since heard stories about Cammon’s driving that could have curled my hair (if my hair had any body).

    2. If Kath’s boys survived it, anybody can.

    3. First of all, you don’t have to let them drive at sixteen. You can stall them. Rachel does it beautifully.

    4. Second – you can make your own rules. Here, a kid cannot drive without an adult family member in the car for about six months. I’m not sure what the law is now – but because the stats say that the chances of an accident increase for a kid under about nineteen about 25% for every person under eighteen in the car, you can make a rule that your kid cannot drive the car with ANY OTHER KIDS IN THE CAR. M suffered under that rule for years. And you can make a rule that the kid cannot listen to the radio under any circumstances for the first year of his driving. And then, he has to set the station before he leaves the driveway and he cannot change it until he reaches his final destination. Rules like this reduce the likelihood of death by 6000 percent.

    And last – may I point out that the thrill of driving for the kid pales quickly once he realizes that the driving he will be doing has much more to do with picking up and dropping off siblings, and going to the grocery store, and picking up the cleaning than it does with fun, music, the wind through his hair.

    And once you grasp this concept – that you now have an ambulatory slave – you will warm to it. I promise. But yes, his childhood is on the wane. Like I said to Rachel, in ten years, T will be married with two kids, driving a minivan. The first time I saw Meridee’s Joel pass me in a minivan with a bunch of kids in the back, I stopped dead and had to pick my teeth off the street. But his kids look just like him, and they bring the whole childhood thing back – and soon after they do, their PARENTS take them home to clean them up, feed them and deal with bedtime. And you get to do whatever you want.

    You do get used to it.

  12. Liv-yes yes yes…exactly!

    K-i can’t believe you just slapped me….i will pretend it was a slap on the arm. lightly. once. 😉

    1. if you only stood outside a few times then i will only stand outside twice…because you are a tad bit more of a worrier than i am…but only a tad.

    2. that doesn’t help! i just figure they got lucky.

    3. i will talk to rachel….

    4. i was planning on it…but i am sure they will ignore the music rule….i won’t be there to make sure and they will think that mom is being silly and they would be wrong and i can’t see sending him out on errands yet because i don’t want him to drive anywhere ever..till he is 25. but i am sure i will eat those words. “oh crud! i need eggs and we don’t live next door to the tuinei’s….you will have to run to the store and get some for me….” i am pumped about the grandchild thing…that sounds…GRAND!!!!!

  13. that one almost brung a tear. yesterday taylor was just a little bitty baby boy.

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