The Untitled

I used to sit and cry about my public schooling and home schooling fence sitting position in life.  I could not say with firm and unwavering conviction that I was a “homeschooler”.  Nor could I say that I would “never homeschool” since I had and I knew I would again if the need arise.  If I was a true “publicschooler” I could say that the need would not arise in my lifetime.  So, I have sat on the fence.  One foot on one side and one foot on the other. 

I spent my morning today remembering why I sit on that fence the way I do.  I feel like I have just signed my life away.  Again.  For the 3rd time.  For the same school year.  My kids got into a great school in Provo and I signed my life away before I knew we wouldn’t be staying in Provo.  Then we moved and I signed my life away to a charter school and a high school.  Then we moved again and I just spent my morning and afternoon signing a stack of papers that would make an escrow department proud.  My hand is killing me.  So is my head.  And honestly, I think all that signing amounted to making sure my kids could:

a)Go to School
b)Get to School
and
c)Take a Tylenol If Needed.

For the last few years I have been happy to sit upon that fence.  Happy I could see both sides of the schooling issue.  I have lived them.  I understand them.  I have loved both experiences in it’s own way.  I have taken up comfortable residence on that fence.  I even bought vinyl so it would look nice for years to come with very little maintenance.  Today though….today I am tired.  I am tired of the rules and the paperwork and legalities.  I am tired of hoops.  I understand rules and paperwork and legalities and hoops.  You don’t have to lecture me on the importance and functionality and even the divine principle involved in such things.  We don’t need to compare such things with eternal lessons today.  Today I am just worn out.  Totally and completely worn out. 

I am going to pitch a tent atop my fence and lay down.  I am going to just exist for the rest of this afternoon.  My heart is tired.  The world is just a little to complicated today.  Would anyone care to join me on my big white vinyl tent covered fence?  I’ve got treats…..

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~ by pandmcox on October 19, 2009.

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