Handout is a postcard I ordered from Costco. I used a cool handout from HERE and added funny “pick up lines” on back just for laughs.
YW Manual 1 Lesson 31
Start building a fire. (Bring a small box of firewood and paper and an empty can of lighter fluid and an empty box of matches.)
I just want to create a cozy atmosphere and have a “fireside” type feel for my lesson today! The girls will express concern. I will concede and decide not to build the fire. (Will talk about the “fire” lesson in the Physical Relationship section later in the lesson.)
Read this introductory quote from manual:
“Mia Maid girls and Teachers … have many activities of a social nature planned for them, both in their school and Church programs, which they should enjoy in groups. They should avoid boy-girl single-dating relationships” (“Policies and Procedures,” New Era, Jan. 1971, p. 30).
Tell girls we are going to talk about 3 different kinds of ships today. (Taken from “Make Dating Smooth Sailing” by Susan W. Tanner)
(Print out and display all the ship pictures.)
How important is friendship to you? Friendship is necessary to our well being – not just nice – but necessary. We hunger for it. It is a need.
This was brought home to me by one of my Young Women general board members who took some personal trips this past summer. In her travels, she visited with young women in Idaho, Brazil, Mongolia, and Russia. In each place, she asked them questions about their lives and compiled their answers. Here are the questions she asked, along with the most frequent response she received to each question.
Question: What makes you happy? Answer: Friends.
What are your greatest worries? Friends.
What do you like to do in your free time? Be with friends.
What do you spend most of your time thinking about? Friends.
Why don’t young women come to Mutual? No friends.
Why do young women become less active? Pressure of friends.
We can look to Jesus Christ for the greatest example of friendship. “Friend” was the highest compliment He could pay His disciples.
Read John 15: 12-15
To be such a friend is Christlike; to have such friends is heavenly.
Describe to me a true friend.
Does this description match the friendships (or relationships) you currently have with the opposite sex?
Should those descriptions match up? Discuss.
Our next ship:
With friendship being the foundation of courtship – how important then is THIS time in your life? What should you be spending your time and energy on NOW? Is now the time for courtship? What is courtship? Discuss these ideas and principles with girls.
Read this story about S. Tanner’s daughter:
“A little story will help to illustrate [the importance of friendship within courtship and marriage].
It is the story of Isaac and Rebecca. This is not the biblical account, however. It is about our daughter Rebecca and her suitor Isaac. Our Rebecca was not persuaded to marry her Isaac nearly as easily as was the Old Testament Rebekah. Nor was she readily willing to give up her lifestyle and immediately leave her family to be part of another’s life.
Our Becky was 21. She had signed up to do a summer internship through Brigham Young University in Mozambique, Africa. She wasn’t sure if she should serve a mission, but she had at least started the paperwork by getting dental and doctor appointments. She was also thinking about applying for a master’s program in her field. In short, she was trying to decide what to do with the next phase of her life. We all wondered which would win out of the three Ms—Mozambique, mission, or master’s.
Meanwhile, Isaac came along in pursuit and soon offered a choice of a fourth M—marriage. He was headed for medical school in a few months, and he did not want to go without Becky. He later told us that he had his own three Ms that he hoped she would choose—marriage, medical school, and eventually motherhood. “If she did not,” he said, “I knew I would be the fourth M—miserable.”
Becky was a woman of the 21st century. The world and its many glamorous opportunities were available to her, and it was hard for her to set aside some of her dreams. What finally won her over were Isaac’s intrinsic goodness and his kindness to her. He did the romantic things too, like sending beautiful bouquets of flowers, taking her on nice dates, and so on.
But those things would not have won her over on their own. What was most winning to her was how he continually put her feelings and her needs above his own. He did little thoughtful things, the kind that one friend would do for another. For example, when he learned that her watch was too big for her wrist, he removed a couple of links from it and made it perfect for her. Another time she found her car spotless and sparkling inside and out because he had washed it, a deed unsolicited by her. Another time she found a little list he had made of ways to improve himself; many of his goals were service oriented. These kindnesses promised an enduring friendship; they expressed qualities of character that would last even when physical beauties eventually faded.
Becky realized that he had the qualities that would endure through good and bad times, the very qualities she would seek out in a good friend. So she did marry Isaac. And now she reflects that she was right about his great strengths being a wonderful asset to their relationship. She feels she is married to her best friend. And this is what marriage should be.”
I have two pictures for this last ship.
Physical Relationship Before Marriage
Physical Relationship After Marriage
(I ordered this picture in color from Costco.)
If the physical part of a relationship comes too early it can take over. It can become the tail that wags the dog.
Back to the wood sitting in the middle of the room……
Liken the building of a fire in the wrong place at the wrong time to physical intimacy between young people before marriage. Discuss this concept.
Go over these 4 catchy phrases with girls:
1. Avoid the dangers of the dark. Stay in well-lit places—literally and figuratively. There’s wisdom to leaving the lights on—on the porch, in the living room, at the dance. And there’s safety in shunning places that feel dark in spirit.
2. Beware the hazard of the horizontal. Don’t lie down together with a date. Just don’t do it—not to watch a movie or to read a book or to rest at a picnic.
3. Remember the perils of privacy. Find public places to be alone. Learn to have your intimate talks where others are. There is great safety in being together where you can easily be interrupted.
4. Modesty is a must. Everything about your appearance, your speech, and your demeanor should bespeak that you are a literal spirit son or daughter of Heavenly Father. If we truly understand the significance of our bodies in our Father’s plan, we will show great honor for our bodies. When you dress and act modestly, others will treat you with respect.
Finally, show THIS VIDEO to girls and discuss the idea of NOT being a stumbling block to ourselves or these boys! This video is just as applicable to the young women of the church as it is to the young men!
Bear testimony of these principle we have discussed today.